Thursday, December 19, 2013

The First Post

"All your life you've never seen woman, taken by the sky…would you stay if she promised you heaven? would you even try? She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness…she rules her life like a fine skylark and then the sky is starless"-Feetwood Mac

I've been trying to write about my life for years, pages and files lost after my carelessness with my macbook got the better of me. A lot of it was beautiful, and some parts I remember, but mostly, I remember my Dad told me in art school his professor told him: "to paint watercolors…go paint 100 of them…and then throw them all away, and then you are ready to paint." I know Joyce Carol Oates threw away most of her early work, I know the Duke of Rochester (Johnny Depp in The Libertine) had all of his writings burned on his deathbed as hid mind slowly went from syphilis. I also remember Steve Job's Stanford commencement address: "You cannot connect the dots looking forward, it's only looking back." It was something that all came together, as I turned 27 this year, became Catholic, was hospitalized for third time for my bipolar disorder and prepared to get married this following spring. Somehow, after all I went through this year, and the way I see things now, let's me know I'm ready to try this again. However, finally writing this; and writing it the way I wanted to all along I do know one thing: Each bit will have to be gradual and very sporadic and if I do anything; I have to always be different from the "rules" or standards: so using this blog is my own unique way of my process of telling my story. If nobody reads it, I don't even care. I'm writing it down. Seriously, truth is better and stranger than fiction.